If I could have been a better wife before it was too late! If only I had been a more patient and soft-spoken mother... the kind I have come to admire. If only...
Then things happen and I wake up and realize that the life I remember is no longer apt to be changed. I must accept things as they are and as they were. And that, my friend, is when the nostalgia enters and I long for those days once again... If I could only just to be there...
Example. I'm doing the household dusting and as I polish the piano, I find the autograph of my young son that I had forgotten was there. Suddenly I think of him, the man now, and as a young boy with a look that could melt my heart no matter what he did. (No other man has had that power over me.) I realize this... sit down on the floor and have a nice little cry as I think of how I must have scolded him so for this! I realize what a gift it is to me right now, this day.
What then? I pull out the family albums (yes, this is why I can't seem to get any housework done!) and re-live those memories all over in my mind and my heart. I really did have a wonderful season of motherhood, didn't I? Yes. I have wonderful, wonderful children and I give all the credit to their father for being the strong one because certainly it wasn't ME who was strong!
I am grateful for the family albums I have. Whatever it was that possessed me to make these things... I wish I had more of. I was driven until I finished adding and journaling all the old photos.
Now I know why. To get me through days like this.
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| If you look closely, you can see the precious autograph. |
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